by Arts & Entertainment Editor Stephanie Penn-Danforth
Connect With Stephanie in the Community

Women endure so much in an effort to keep our families in tact. When you marry the love of your life, you hope things will be happily ever after and the love you and feelings you initially shared with one another will always be there. Venus Diva member Zellena was kind of enough to share her story with us, in hopes that you will not have to go through what she did in her marriage. Dream Big is not just dedicated to showcasing women with happy endings but humble beginnings as well. We believe in stories that inspire one another and Zellena's story is one that we all can pull inspiration from.

Stephanie: How did the abuse start?

Zellena: The mental started right away. When we first moved out on our own he cut me off from my family. I wasn't "allowed" to leave the house. He wouldn't buy food or pampers so I was able to talk him into letting me get a job. The problem with that was he would not watch the baby or transport me to and from work. The first physical abuse started after I found out I was pregnant with our second child. He was very upset and wanted me to have an abortion (I later found out he had another women pregnant at the same time). I refused to have an abortion and I was not going to work because he wanted me to walk back home. Before I realized anything he was kicking me in my stomach and pushing me in the face. The abuse got worse from there. He then became verbal, the physical got worse because he started to use glass bottles and ash trays. Later into the marriage he became sexually abusive.

Stephanie: Once it started how did you deal with the abuse?

Zellena: He would be so sweet. He bought me diamond rings and took me out. We even took a weeks trip without the kids to Virginia Beach. So I "played" myself into believing if I did everything he asked he wouldn't get made and everything would be ok.

Stephanie: Before getting married did you see any signs that he may be abusive?

Zellena: No, we dated off and on from 1992 until we got married in 1999. He was so protective of me. He came across as a nerd into books and computers.

Stephanie: How did the kids deal with seeing the abuse?

Zellena: They were very young. It wasn't until later my oldest daughter would make comments like "remember when daddy would make you cry?". That really hurt me because I didn't realize they saw or could remember what had happened.

Stephanie: What gave you the strength to escape?

Zellena: He was on probation for domestic abuse and violated his probation. I was pregnant with our third child by then. He left me with nothing when they sentenced him to two years in prison. I felt we could use this time to work on our marriage. I was so wrong! The verbal abuse got worse. I mean he wrote ten page letters talking trash to me. I found out he had a wife in NC that he had married two years before me! I found pictures of him and 16 year old girls, hotel receipts and plans to marry and buy a house with someone else. The last straw was after all that he told me he didn't love me until our third child, and the only reason he married me was to spite my family.

Stephanie: I understand that You're an aspiring model, When did this become a dream of yours?

Zellena: I've always wanted to model. I was modeling in high school. I stopped when I got pregnant and married my ex-husband. I was actually a delayed entry to the Army Reserves and planning on being the next Tyra Banks.

Stephanie: Who are your modeling inspirations?

Zellena: Tyra Banks and Queen Latifah

Stephanie: What designer would you like to model for one day?

Zellena: An unknown up and coming designer. I would love to inspire a new line of full figure clothing

Stephanie: Where do you see myself in five years?

Zellena: Owning my own intimate boutique.